It Started With Goodbye
by SummerTime16-Backup
Summary: ON HOLD. ...I do things I don't mean when I'm half asleep and posting this was something I really didn't mean to do... so yeah


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**(Unedited)**

X~X

~•Prologue•~

I guess it was my fault. That's the normal thing to do in these types of situations, right? Just blame it on yourself. If you do that, then no one else has to feel guilty. Because if they feel guilty, you feel a thousand times more guilty for being the reason for their pain and sorrow.

So, as Isat in the annoyingly white hospital room on an annoyingly uncomfortable wooden chair with my hand holding a large cold one, I went over and over in my head about how none of this would have happened if it weren't for me.

The first thing I remember was the stoplight. Josh was slowing down as we continued to talk about how unfair it was that I got detention. Mr. Bakes hates me just because of the fact that my troublesome brother was in his class the year before and made his teaching career hell. So for all the times James got away with something Mr. Bakes has never had enough evidence to prove true, the damn teacher gave me all those lost punishments. I guess being two minutes late is worthy of two weeks jail time.

The second thing was the snow. I watched the heavy flakes pour down over us, warning Josh that he will soon be driving in a whiteout so he better get home quick.

The third thing was the bright lights of a big truck. Josh saw it to, but our light had turnd green, so without a second thought, he started driving again. We both assumed the driver would stop like any other person.

The fourth thing I noticed was pain. And screaming.

The fifth thing: his large arms wrapping around me and the shout of 'baby, find your happy place!'. Then everything was silent except for the ringing in my ears. So loud and disturbing, though I was thankful because it took my thoughts away from the intense pain my body was feeling.

He wasn't drunk. Or high. The driver of the large black pick-up truck simply skidded on black ice and lost control.

He's fine. I'm fine. But Josh isn't. And that was my fault

I shouldn't have asked him to pick me up from the town library. I should've walked home in the freezing cold. The walk would have only been twenty minutes anyway. But I had to be selfish. And now, my boyfriend of two years is dying. His lungs collapsed from the impact of the truck that T-boned us. And his skull was cracked. There was internal bleeding and broken ribs and shattered bones.

I took one look at the boy on the annoyingly white and blue hospital bed. Within that one look, I saw that his face didn't look peacful like it usualy did when he slept. It was too bruised and swollen, but the coma he was sucked into helped him not feel the pain. At least I hope.

Josh's leg was casted and thrown in a sling, his toned chest was wrapped and his arms were covered in two separate casts while a white bandage was wrapped numerous times around his now stitched head.

The only thing that gave me comfort was the sound of the heart monitor that told me he was still alive and breathing. Yet after an hour of sitting in silence with his family, the soothing and reassuring sound stopped, replaced by a loud ringing that filled the room along with our years and minds.

He's gone. That's what the ringing was telling us. There's nothing we can do but stand their and let the mocking screech laugh at us

I held back a sob as I kissed his cheek with my trembling, tear soaked lips.

"Goodbye."

X~X

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 ***** prologue is unedited**


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